Sad and confused

Yesterday we had a memorial at work. Over the weekend a colleague committed suicide. She was distraught over the recent death of her boyfriend. 

I didn’t know her too well, worked with her a few times and chatted in the gym a couple of times. But knew her enough that it was saddening both not enough so it was a surprise. Equally, and I feel somewhat guilty about this, I feel a kinda mad at her. 

I’m kinda mad because I want to tell her that things get better. People get through horrifying tragedies and terrible things happening to them. There’s always a light in that tunnel even when it’s pitch black. I’ve been in a couple of pretty black places and even once I did think about suicide. But from my perspective it doesn’t  seem like an answer to anything. But I can’t tell her because I can’t bump into her in the gym anymore. 

So I’m a bit mad. Now there are two grieving families instead of one (the boyfriend was killed in a accident while at work, not suicide) and lots of people hurting. 

And all of these people would have jumped in with both feet to help and support her. I don’t know if she asked anyone. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers and I know she was talking to the padre at work, maybe that helped some.  

So I’m mad, feeling guilty, feeling sad and definitely confused. RIP Aimee and Curtis. 

Meh, Unsubbed again

Yeah, that pretty much is it. I came back to WoW with more time, but find myself doing other stuff during the week and not logging in (and hence there isn’t many  blogs).

…. just deleted a bunch of whiney stuff there…..

Just not having fun… going to go do other stuff. Like Tomb Raider.


The Wise Godmother speaks…

work ethic quotes

Due to a couple of appointments I ended up at home early this afternoon, in time to listen to the Twisted Nether blogcast live (I think the last time I did that was when Navi was interviewed, but then they changed the time so it’s mid afternoon Mondays here).

Anyway, a blogging I have heard of, but never actually read or listened to, the Godmother of ALT:ernative Chat was being interviewed. Now I know Navi is a friend of hers, but I suddenly feel like I’ve been missing out.

Godmother was talking about her boy and and a bunch of things about needing to do work in WoW, when she said this…

Work is the ethic.

And suddenly all the grinds and all the other work that we all put in making our characters better, learning to play them better makes more sense. I have often heard people discussing how their best memories, or favourite achievements are the ones we have worked for. My favourite in game ones are the same.

Blizzard is teaching kids (again she was talking about her boy) that you need to work hard to get what you want – BUT also that when you get that thing, you will treasure that more than what was given to you.

This lesson is everywhere. It’s in lots of games too, not just WoW. I still remember the accomplishment I felt when I finished XCom, or the original Tomb Raider (I’m working on the new one at the moment, hence the lack of WoW at the moment).

And these lesson last outside as well. Kids can learn these lessons in the games and take them outside. For example, I’m working hard at improving my riding skills. It’s going to be a long process, but I’ll have that forever.

So if you want something, work for it, when you get it – you’ll treasure it more, whatever it was.

How do I explain this happiness?


I think this is probably true no matter what it is, when it’s something that you really enjoy. I’m sure some of you get this from WoW. Sometimes I do, but not as reliably as when I’m riding.

As I got into the second hour of my ride back to Canberra, and finally got off the Highway. It was as I rolled merrily through the back roads, the bike eating up the miles and us both leaning into the corners and accelerating out, that I felt that happy, peaceful contentedness come over me. I couldn’t think of anything else I’d rather do.

The miles rolled away under the wheels. I know this road reasonably well now. I know there are lots of easy corners, and only a couple that try to catch you out. I can remember these before they come up, so the bike is set up and the corner disappears quickly behind me. I know some people could ride it faster, getting their knees down, leaned right over, running the edge of the tyre ragged.

That’s not me, but I’m sure we both have the same smile when we pull up at the end. I can’t think of much I’d rather do, than cruise quickly along a back country road on my bike.

I don’t know what it is for you guys, but I hope there is something that gives you the same feeling.

Denied again again?


I’m starting to think this Daytona really doesn’t want to go on a solid day ride…. This time Grandad is visiting for the school holidays so there is someone here to give me Sunday off for a change. And the weather is predicted to be cool but clear and sunny on Sunday. Great for a winter ride.

So Wednesday the shop rings me about a recall on the Daytona. After some thought I figure I’ll get it out of the way and clear off a couple of other things by taking Friday off and dropping the bike in to get sorted. Then it will be good to go on Sunday – worry free.

Short job apparently.

Apparently not. They’ve completed the work, but now they can’t clear an error code from the computer and will need to replace one of the electric motors as well. Part will be here Monday, and the bike is in pieces so I can’t take it away and come back next week (not sure when I’d be able to drop it there anyway).

And I’ve very frustrated. Every time I clear a day to go on a solid full days ride on this bike I’ve had weather, breakdowns, illness, and family things come up to either cancel it or cut it short.

But as some consolation – the work and parts are not costing me as its a warranty and recall issue.

And grandad is still here and Saturday is still supposed to be clear but cool.

And I do still have this in the garage 🙂



It’s just too quiet…

I started Eve hoping to find some Pvp corp to join up with and start roaming about. While there are a couple of groups at work, I fall back into the same problem as WoW had and MWO had…. I just don’t have a RL that fits with Multiplayer games.

Generally the most consistent time for me to play is between about 5-7am AEST, so looking at the world clock, maybe some UK based time zone clan/corp/group team might be around, but most games use some form of regional servers (Eve is different – everyone is on the “same” server) and Australia is usually included in US (or SE Asia or Oceanic) so the Europeans aren’t logged on.

So I have not been super enthused about Eve the past week or so. I’ve run a few more missions and started some exploration tutorials. I was looking at joining a wormhole corp so figured scanning would be very necessary. Turns out that scanning is boring as fishing in WoW (yes I know some people love that – not me).

Collocated my 2 favourite ships, quit my corp and cancelled the subscription. Even went as far as deleting the game and at the same time cleaned several games from the computer. I still laugh at my EvE toon, created in 2005 (before I started WoW) I think, is still like a level 3 WoW toon.

I do need to get back into Tomb Raider, and I’d like to finish Trine 2. Those can be played anytime and I should be able to fit them in around RL.

Ha, what I probably need to do is get out and go for a ride! After 10 days of foul weather, Monday was sunny and it looks like the rest of the week will be too.

And stop waking at 5am would be good too, lol.

One Year of WordPress

WordPress tells me its twelve months since I registered this blog. While that’s not the first anniversary of this blog (it started in October the year before) it’s still a milestone.

BBB has seen some changes in that time. From a blog focused on WoW pretty exclusively, it has broadened somewhat with some bike stuff, some home stuff and random other things. It even became a travel blog for three weeks!

WoW has disappeared in that time and the expected rise of MWO didn’t occur. It’s actually turned in to a general gaming blog, covering all sorts of games. I know the change dramatically affected my already small readership. Not sure there is a big blogging community in MWO. Actually I never checked youtube… I still have some faithful readers, and I’m sure there are a few lurkers out there (hi!). I’m glad you find something of interest here 🙂

Odd things I’ve noticed… my post on the Razer Naga scores a lot of hits through Google searches of Naga reviews. Followed by this post on real life (I think the picture gets the hits actually) and then my car mechanic success story but that’s probably the picture too.

I’ve found a bunch of interesting people out there in the interwebs. I’ve reconnected with an RL friend too. Most of all I’ve found it a nice place to get my thoughts down. So thanks for everyone’s comments and thanks to all the readers out there.

And if Navi comments, I have to respond so I can stay ahead of her in the comment count on my blog than me (wave at Navi!)…. ;-P


I just received an invite to buy a founders pack for MechWarrior Tactics, the RTS game being developed alongside MWO. I am feeling a little “once bitten, twice shy”, though actually if I add SWTOR it’s more like twice bitten.

MWO, I’ve spent a bit, with the founders pack and the pc upgrades. And I haven’t felt any interest in playing it for some time, several months now. I’ve spoken to colleagues who are still playing and by all accounts it has gotten worse.

To me the game was at its peak just before they removed knockdowns. From that patch onwards the developers have steadily added complexity without balance and have introduced bugs ands instabilities into parts of the game that were working fine. Even bugs that should have been obvious from even a small amount of play testing (the screw up with missile damage when Artemis was introduced for example) before making it on the Beta servers…. one assumes they have their own internal test servers….. assumes…

ECM, by all accounts is really messing with the game. It didn’t have to be, but they’ve made it a must have for everyone, limiting your mech choices if you want to have any real chance of doing well in a match. There is no reliable way for large mechs to combat small mechs without knockdowns (in tabletop you could even fall if you turned whilst running, now you won’t fall if a mech charges into you). They are having a lot of problems with lag and rubber banding (I remember my duel with a light I think I discussed in another post).

The other concern is that some of the “news” on the website suggests that with the timeline they are running it’s about 3-4 months before we have the full Clan invasion. They haven’t even started the metagame part of MWO and they’re about to introduce a whole heap more to this game! That’s surprising a few I’ve been talking to.

The overall feeling is that they are not balancing the game properly, and spending too much time introducing new hardware, without fixing existing game and balance issues. Adding more mechs, when people really want more maps (bigger ones!) and more game types (and the metagame).

So that’s MWO… now I have this invite for the MWT founders. Same deal, instant access to beta, with varying amount of bonuses depending upon your spend. MWT is being published by the same company but it seems to be developed by someone different from MWO.

Honestly, I’m not really positive about it. Anyone else have any thoughts on the games?

Still Walking

I’m partway through Episode 3 now, just got a train running.


I am starting to run into a few places where the dialog has seemed a little off. Some of the time its because they have to be a little generic. Lets say there are three conversation choices, but none change they story, they’re the information conversations where you chat to an NPC until you’ve drained his knowledge.  So if there’s three choices then the finish has to fit, kinda, with however the player finishes.

But that’s a small point.

Another is that some of the conversations I really wouldn’t have said. Take this one between Carley and yourself (Lee). She been pretty smart and level headed throughout so far. And supportive of you…200px-Carley

Cheryl, while discussing whether Lee should reveal his background to the group:”Our group is small”


Lee: “You’re small”

Sorry, where did that come from? And how can that not be insulting? It’s like the pop song recently … “don’t take this the wrong way. girl you look better with the lights off”…. is there a right way to take that?

In a conversation you only get a choice about every fifth line, so sometimes you can be left thinking that isn’t really what I would have said if I was really in this conversation. Again, you’re hit by the limits of the rpg.

However these really are small niggles on a pretty polished game. Oh that’s the other thing I giggled at… so far I haven’t had any red herrings… (SPOILER ALERT). Clem is doing a pencil rubbing of a leaf to pass the time. Later, Lee has to figure out how to read the words written on a pad, when the page has been torn off.

See, everything is important, otherwise why include it.

Remember that next time you’re watching a mystery movie or reading a mystery book…..

Who’s for dinner.

ECM Here, ECM There… ECM Everywhere

After the drama the other night, I gave up and played Xcom. Last night I tried again and I got into a group from my new clan, OMC.

It was an interesting, but not successful evening. Initially I launched into my normal LRM Cat, but it became quickly evident that too many LRM boats on a team wasn’t tenable in the new ECM world.

Spectating from a K2 Cat.
Spectating from a K2 Cat.

So I switched to my Jenner. This has some limitations now. As a scout without ECM I can be detected from some distance. I might have to investigate purchasing a Commando or a Raven if I want to continue scouting.

The games themselves were pretty average. We struck the same team several times. Heavily laden with ECM fitted mechs, including at least a lance of ECM Atlas, they proved decidedly the strengths of this ECM blob. They stayed together and meant that our limited ECM couldn’t counter act them. Equally as a blob of Atlas, they were difficult to take down quickly, meaning that they could wear us down. Three times they smashed through our lines and won the game. Even with some individual performances and some good teamwork, we were unable to beat this group.

So there was some complaints of the ECM. Not in the performance or abilities of the ECM, but the feeling was more that there should be limited in the numbers per drop. I’m not sure that this is the solution. Whether the limit is 8, or say 4 there will be groups that drop with the maximum. There has to be other ways around it.

At the moment, its a massive force multiplier. But if we can find effective counters then the teams that run ECM heavy will find themselves at a disadvantage and stop using it. I heard some talk of TAG range being lifted from 450m to 700m. Perhaps this is one. LRM boats will actually be able to self TAG (though this removes their indirectness). That’s what we need to look for.